Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Moments of Redemption

Life was redeemed.
When I saw your innocence
The way you placed a hand on your heart
While speaking, without guile or art.

Sincerity in your eyes,
No smartness, no cleverness.
Genuine, every gesture,
Even pride and anger;

A form, I’d first felt
Somewhat imperfect
Chocolate-ish with two crooked teeth
Became the most handsome - face to feet.

Life was redeemed.
When after nine days of raging fever
Since you were gone the first time ever,
For so long to Hong Kong,
You appeared on the floor
From behind that door,
Looked at me, stopped,
And that smile of relief you smiled,
I just knew
You had had fever too.

Life was redeemed.
When after a month and two weeks
Of stolen glances and careful sneaks,
Of Mind games of silence,
And a flourish of indifference,
You picked up the phone and made that call
To ask of that project of last fall.
That the reason was fake, you thought I couldn’t make?
Your voice, a clear lake, reflected your ache.
Two and two were four.
I knew you could endure it no more.

Life was redeemed.
When out of my way you stepped
As if repelled,
Only days after I’d turned my face away
Hurt that I was part of your life in no way,
In equal measure
You returned my coldness with pleasure.
Though revulsion, a response it had surely been,
Happiness brought to my eyes water
For what else could it mean,
But that, to you, in some way, I did matter?

Life was redeemed.
When you looked up from the newspaper
you weren’t reading-love makes the innocent clever!
With hope in your eyes
To find on my face
The same agony and pain
That had begun to throb in your every vein
Now that there were left
Only sixty more days
For us to part ways
Only sixty days were left
Of each other, we’d be soon bereft.


Ranjana said...

curious...why is that one line enclosed in brackets in the last paragraph...it rhymes, there is no obstruction to the flow of thought or should I be reading between the lines :) And am unable to place or decipher the usage of "I was redeemed" Am thrown off track everytime I read the lines that follow it...Maybe I should stop imagining that I understand poetry :) I did like ur meticulous use of the fullstops and the commas and the hyphens...Very technical... Anyways, just my humble thoughts :)

Sowmya said...

Brackets - so that there is continuity between the lines above and below - 'When you looked up from the newspaper with hope in your eyes...'

What do you understand by the word 'redeemed'?
I am using it as a poor English substitute for the Indian word 'Saarthak'... as in 'Jeevan saarthak ho gaya'? something you say when a moment of bliss makes you feel 'This moment was worth coming into this world... worth all the struggle of this lifetime...?' Get it?
Couldn't think of any other word in the English language...

Now read the poem again and tell me how you liked it :)

Shivdas Yenkikar said...

whats the backdrop...
i mean, the author / poet explains the incidents of origin of the text / poem...it becomes somewhat more meaningful...reader can be at the same wavelength as the writer is...or in a way u cud briefly tell us the episodes of the poem...what went into weaving these pieces together

RamaDrama said...

Cycles of redemption,
Interspersed by gumption,
Repeating patterns of assumption,
Let down again in familiar fashion!

Lovely as always!

Anonymous said...

Your poem has love soul and feeling. Be fearless as you have been,

The attraction to nature is clear . The faces look like one,

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say, but very pretentious and poor use of language.Your use word 'redeemed' as a substitute of a 'Hindi' word - Hindi word? Are you serious? - is not suitable at all. By the way are you writing poetry or translating poetry?

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the harsh comment, but if you wish to improve, you got to have couple of those. And do not be fooled by the comments full of praise. They comment keeping in mind not your poetry but your picture.