September 4, 2003

September 4, 2003

Exactly 20 years ago this day, I started my IT career in Cognizant. As 111290.

The career itself has been everything short of spectacular, but personal growth has been nothing short of rebirth.

As a child, as a student, as a professional, I was always outstanding. I stood out, for the right and the wrong reasons. 

I had my flashes of brilliance, the most predominant of which was my command over language. Followed by my ability to analyze, articulate, produce documents of high standards. Clarity and vision. Looks, height. 

But also, I do not know anyone else who had as many rough edges as I did. Loud, dominative, low in self esteem, a bit pushy, socially awkward, having boundary issues, temperamental, uncouth now and then, easily provoked, weak when emotional, at times unprofessional, impulsive... oh!

Had I lived in a small town or chosen a different career path that did not entail constant team work, or resigned after a few years like many of my female cousins following marriage and child birth, I would have lived with all my flaws and died with them, missing the opportunity to meet a better me. 

It has been thanks to the unforgivingness of this big city and it's IT crowd with it's zero tolerance, that would not let me get away with any attitudinal abberation and rejected one flaw after another, until I had polished all of my rough edges.

There is still the residue and that will melt away with time, but God alone knows, that who I am today is not the girl he had known 20 years ago.

Working in a team, however lesser than you, however pathetic in grammar, is quintessential to personality and character grooming.

Getting punched and kicked about by them a few times until you finally have their approval, is so key to consummate growth and development. 

I know a few who quit in rough weather, saying they didn't want to take orders, work for someone else, they didn't like living in big cities, etc., and I see they will never be fully cured of themselves. 

This career gave me money, trips to exotic places, my favourite city New York,...but the best it gave me was a better me. I must admit it, regardless of my lack of any fondness for this IT industry.

Personal growth apart. ..

The career itself - some was my bad, some, not mine. 

There were flashes of brilliance now and then. The clients were mostly impressed.  There was hardly any revision to any of my documents. 

But I couldn't bring consistency, focus and dedication to my work. I was distracted and disturbed because of one thing or another.

But there were the dregs of hierarchy and patriarchy that outdated men and managers carried from government offices to glass and steel modern IT buildings.

 

Misogyny. I was a very strong woman and they had to try and break me. I took 'transparent hierarchy' very seriously and did not practice 'subordination'. All of them would then gang up a try to bend me. 

Some managers needed a 'yes man' so they could deliver garbage to the client and wash their hands off, and I would side with the clients and say no to managers and their ridiculous project plan to deliver caps without the bottles to suit limited budget.

There were the leftists who wanted to freely piss on Brahmins and when I freely countered them, they ganged up too.

So there I was, an abhimanyu, caught in the chakravyuha of rogue managers.

Well, most of the rogue managers are behind me, the last 4 years have been smooth sailing and the coming years will be better hopefully.

(My FB post 3 years ago)